At the Communion Table ~ How HOLY am I?
Growing up, always observant of
people and their actions around me like every other child, I had developed
among many other notions, the one of HOLY vs. UNHOLY. The formative grounds
were the 'holy' confines of traditional churches where everyone alike would
stand in piety, a mask that seemed so ready made for Sundays. Though an atheist
inside (not having heard about the Gospel of the love of God through Christ), I
would copy the motions of my neighbors for fear of my parents. Some Sundays, most
of them would queue up to receive the Holy Communion. Not having taken my
"First Communion", per the rules I would not join this holy mass (no
pun intended!).
Fast forward a few years and I am
a born-again, high school girl. Yet, to my shock and horror (in retrospect), I
partook of the Bread & the Wine for the first time only at the age of 26.
What kept me from missing out on remembering my Lord's New Covenant (Matt
26:28, Luke 22:20, 1 Cor 11:25)? It was wrong concepts and wrong teachings that
many believers fear to challenge. I spent many years (rejected many blessings
for sure) in the wilderness of feeling "unworthy”. Where did the feeling
of unworthiness and that “I am not holy enough” come from? It came from my own
mind that is "sin-conscious". It is not surprising that when the
gospel is preached in the light of the Old Covenant, the mind keeps condemning
you for the lack of perfection.
No believer ever told me (now I
know that they themselves might not have known!) that I have become WORTHY;
that HOLINESS has been IMPUTED to me THROUGH CHRIST. Therefore, even when in a
born-again fellowship setting I would pass up the Bread & the Wine, thinking
that I was not holy enough. At some point I even thought that those born-agains
who took communion did so because before they were converted (i.e. when they
were in their old traditional church), they went through the "white dress
ceremony that made them holy". Then in my mid-twenties, in one particular
service in an unknown little village church in North India, the Holy Spirit
prompted me to go forward boldly and partake of the Communion, without
analyzing too much in my mind. Since that day, I have been partaking of the
Lord's body and His New Covenant, whenever offered.
At this point of my walk with the
Lord, I realize that I have become accustomed to yet another accepted “holy”
practice in most believer congregations, where the pastor would ask the people
to examine their hearts and confess their sins before taking Communion, per 1
Cor 11:17-33. I have been analyzing and confessing my sins (at least trying to)
in obedience but often I have wondered if I could really remember all my
intentional sins. Forget about the unintentional! How many should I recollect
and from when onwards? Doesn’t the word of God even say that anything that is
not done in faith is sin (Romans 14:23)? I have to confess (again, no pun
intended!) that I have felt guilt and resurfacing memories of my old concepts
of holiness, during certain Communion moments.
I know that I am worthy before
God and MADE WORTHY BY JESUS alone; yet at the moment of communion am I “adding
to my worthiness” through confession and the discerning of my sins? So, to put
some logic into this, the instant before I held the bread there was, say, 5% of
unworthiness and by my efforts of apologizing, I suddenly become 0% unworthy or
100% worthy. Then what did Jesus accomplish on the Cross? If a man can add to
his worthiness by his own confession, the Cross then becomes of no use! There
is no forgiveness of sins without the shedding of blood (Heb 9:22); so confession
is not sufficient for the forgiveness of sins. Therefore, that 5% of
sins/unworthiness demand my death (the wages of sin is death per Rom 6:23) and
as we know no one is righteous and therefore God would have to consider the
whole church at par with the unsaved, for fairness sake!
The book of Hebrews says that Jesus
is able to SAVE COMPLETELY those who come to God through him as he lives as a
permanent priest to intercede for us (Heb 7:24-25). Jesus’ blood has CLEANSED
our CONSCIENCES from acts that lead to death (Heb 9:14, 10:19-22). Under the
Law, annual sacrifices went hand in hand with reminding one of all the sins he
committed that year. That had to be so because the blood of goats and bulls
could not take away the “guilt-consciousness” of the worshipper (Heb 9:9, 10:3-4).
Are we now trying to elevate the Law by instituting a weekly reminder of sins
(assuming Communion service is held once every week)?! Perhaps, it is this
“sins-focus” that often makes pastors talk about “preparedness” to receive
communion? Perhaps, that is also why Communion is not taken every day or every
time believers meet, as was the practice during Paul’s time?
Let’s elevate God’s word above
the Law, which man tries to perfect, even when we know that Jesus came to
redeem us from the unattainable standards of the Law (Gal 4:5). Jesus’ blood
has sealed a NEW COVENANT between God and His worshippers (Heb 8:6), under
which God will remember sins no more (Heb 8:12). Why should we remember what
God has forgotten? By
calling this covenant “new,” God has made the first covenant obsolete (Heb
8:13, Mark 2:22, Luke 22:20). God sets aside the first to establish the second. WE HAVE BEEN MADE
HOLY through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ ONCE FOR ALL (Heb 10:9-10).
Jesus said, "remember
ME" (Luke 22:19); he did not say “remember your sins”! We are to “discern
the Lord’s body" (Luke 22:19, 1 Cor 11:29) and not “discern our sins".
When we examine ourselves based on our guilt-consciousness we are falling back
into the Old Covenant and making Jesus’ blood ( which is a class apart or holy)
equal to the blood of goats and bulls (a common thing or unholy). We should
rather examine if we identify with Jesus’ once and for all work on the Cross
(Heb 10:10) rather than trusting in our own futile efforts to please God (Rom
7:14-24).
Communion is remembering the perfection
and worthiness that Jesus obtained for us believers, when we cannot be perfect
or worthy through our own merit. Let us remind ourselves every time we
come to the Communion table that we have been MADE HOLY ONCE FOR ALL, through
the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ (Heb 10:10) and that there is NO
CONDEMNATION for those who are in Christ Jesus (Rom 8:1).
